Bright Lights, Big City

Superbass

Let it be known that today I got a Brazilian (wax). And I’ll save you five minutes of Google-searching what this means by telling you that it’s when they wax everything *down there*. I have been told by many other brave women that on a pain scale of 0-10, 0 being nothing and 10 being the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your entire life, Brazilians hit a whopping 13. Worse than childbearing, they say.

I say… not really. Then again, I’ve never given birth. Or maybe, just like childbearing, my body has gotten used to my regular “uprootings” that I’ve become numb to the pain.

But I think that what’s more painful than having hair ripped off an area that is supposed to be well-pampered (LOL) is that awkward small talk the technicians try to make as you’re just laying there, legs spread wide eagle, vagina facing the wind.

I don’t care about how cold it is, or how warm it was the week before. I’m not really in the mood to tell you what I do, where I grew up, or how much I hate/love New York City. All I really care about is how I must maintain that awkward way you have me spread my right leg sooo wide that you can… well… sigh. LOL. 

But those awkward ten minutes eventually pass and I was good to go. Smooth as a baby’s butt. Makes all that pain and awkwardness worth it. ‘Til the next!

Dear Me

Just go be yourself.

Being on the Other Side

Two nights ago I rushed myself to the emergency room for horrific abdominal pain radiating to my flank, nausea, and vomiting. I did not know it was humanly possible to vomit a whopping (wait for it) seven times in one night. The med student and doctor were quite puzzled with my symptoms - my symptoms were so vague that I could have had anything in between a UTI, norovirus, pancreatitis, or gallstones. Blood tests, urinalysis, nasty syrup meds, and four hours of writhing-in-pain later, I was diagnosed with a urinary tract infection and was sent home on antibiotics.

Here I am, two days later, still feeling like crap. I throw up every solid food I eat. I have been sleeping non-stop (again, I realized that it IS possible to sleep literally all day). All I’ve eaten the past two days are bowls of oatmeal, pedialyte, and vitamin water. I have zero energy, and if I stand up and you brush up against my shoulder I might just pass out.

Being sick sucks. I take care of sick people all the time and, let it be known, sometimes I forget how fundamentally horrible it feels like to be sick. I get caught up in passing meds, getting my IV’s done, and managing my time… that I forget that just the mere idea of taking pills you’ve never taken before is a little scary, that inserting IV’s really do hurt (especially when nurses are fishing for veins), and that sometimes you just need a nurse to give you a hug.

This is what it feels like to be on the other side.

Next time I encounter a patient just like me, writhing in pain, throwing up every ten minutes, I’ll erase the omigosh-I-have-to-page-the-doctor-now-and-clean-up-this-mess mentality (which I rarely ever get - but still…), think back on the past two days, and hug it out.

Just A Thought

It’s one thing to sulk. It’s one thing to cry in anguish over what-if’s and what-might-have-beens. It’s one thing to rest your head on a cold, empty bed every night thinking of that time you fell asleep in his warm, loving arms. It’s one thing to pray every night, fervently hanging on to every hope that one day you will win him back.

But it’s also one thing to stay strong. It’s another thing to believe that in the greater scheme of things, even more beautiful things await. It’s another thing to wake up each morning to a brand new day - so full of opportunity and promise. It’s another thing to believe that no matter which roads you choose to follow, God made to it that all roads lead to wherever and with whomever you need to be.

So between sulking and staying strong, I choose the latter. It will be difficult, as all matters of the heart are, but I will power through.

Running Playlist

This 30-degree weather has left my running confined to the four walls of my gym. I’ve been running for over a year now - outdoors and indoors - and I find it so much harder to run on a treadmill. It’s so dull and static! No visual distraction to help you endure long runs. (Okay well maybe if I were running beside my gym crush, that’s a different story…)

Today I switched up my running music and randomly put on Pitbull’s station on Pandora. Man, what a difference a change in music makes! I hit 3 miles without even feeling the burn! If you don’t have Pandora on your phone or iPod, here’s a playlist you can put on the next time you hit the gym:

Give Me Everything - Neyo
No Hands - Wacka Flocka
Who’s That Girl - David Guetta
Dirty Dancer - Enrique Iglesias
Bon Bon - Pitbull
International Love - Pitbull feat. Chris Brown
Sexy Chick - David Guetta

Enjoy!

And So It is

Sometimes it just takes faith. Faith that things are going to be okay. Faith that there’s a reason why paths cross. Faith that, despite earnestly praying that things go the way you want them to, how they end up happening is all part of a grander scheme. Faith that the agony of waiting, wanting, and wondering will spring forth beautiful surprises in the end.

Sigh. Life.

Windows to Your Soul

Quite a number of people have told me that it’s so easy to read my mood just by looking at my eyes. Cases in point: My friend was trying out fedoras at the mall the other day. He put on this weird looking one, turned to me, and asked me how he looked. Before I could even say anything he goes, “Okay you don’t like it - I can tell.”

Like today I was having a particularly arduous day at work. As I was giving medications to a patient who knew me well, he goes, “I can tell you’re having a really bad day.” A little freaked out at how randomly accurate his observation was, I ask, “How can you tell?”. He goes, “I just look at your face and your eyes and I just know.”

One other time (okay this story is a little more kilig), this guy was kinda confessing how much he liked me. He said, “I see you were glasses all the time, but I saw through them. There’s something about you and those eyes.”

DAMN.

It would always catch me off guard when I get these comments - the subconscious is such a powerful channel of emotion! I never even realize I give off such strong vibes. :) What about you guys, has this ever happened to you before?

In any case, I guess your eyes are really the windows to your soul!